Reality Maker, Master of Subs
An event (cause and effect) is internal as much as it can be external.
I created an event, thus I feel it’s signature energy animate me. If I hadn’t, I would be feeling and doing something else.
What is drama and how do you cause it?
How this will make me feel in any of the scenarios, #Karma. I’m putting myself to this situation purposefully. Considering the ramifications of any scenario on my #subs.
If creating a fantasy, manipulating events is sin or right. To consciously experiment actively play around with paradigms of world, relationships.
He doesn’t recognize me. Should I cyber relation and reveal later as the epic happy ending twist.
I could end it right here.
I’m the master of my own puppets.
nevermind.
I haven’t read the last bit. I doesn’t go well. Should I read it?
ok not bad,
Defense mechanism.
Time to grow out of it. U only hurt yourself the most in the end.
I was growing to trust you.
Too little, too soon. Everything takes time.
Defence mechanism triggered for trust related issue.
Reboot and try again?
Are u sure u want to try again
Will u be kind
I’m watching this live happening and now that he hasn’t responded I’m laughing at this situation. Who knows what is actually going on. On his side. This could go into different scenarios for both of you.
Maybe you should stop?
Maybe you should apologise? No.
Do you even want to play?
All I want is to love and be loved in return. And you know this.
Reboot and try again? Really?
So now you are asking him to come back. Why?
I want to love and be loved.
What does he mean by this affected him, two months from suicide attempt.
I knew it should affect him. I had no bad intentions. No is no, block was essential. I made progress. I hope he did the same. But I don’t know, do it!
Did he say Kind?
OK so I was unkind, and he used this word before in bed. His issue is kindness. How am I being unkind?
I don’t get it. The motherly love- the Kindness I bestowed onto him for two nights.
“You blocked
discarded
hung up on me.
Without even thinking
how it may have impacted me
didn’t wait for a conversation”
Yes that is unkind. And I defend explaining what it is (defence bladi blah blah) and accuse him of breaking my trust.
My issue with him: He repaid my Kindness with unkindness.
He was not there. The two day connection should’ve made him so kind to me, ‘sending letters full of hope’. Not “I’m on a vacation”.
Hear hear!
He says:
“I can pick u up tomorrow evening after kickboxing class around 10pm”
<3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-vt9b7LDos
Ma lord. If you hadn’t done this you wouldn’t be sitting her right now, is it days later, feeling oh so complete, what’s coming is so good. What’s happened yesterday, so alive. Alive.
Remove the aspects of failure. Yesterday in bed, it was #ugly