#Monlogue: How Dare I Fall again!
fucken idiot //you give me hatred
“…the greatest thing you’ll ever learn.. is just to love.”
you’ll never be loved in return..
stop using your dreams against yourself!
for how long? ha? for how long bitch?
you’re nothing but a whore now.. all because of your silly stupid dreams.
I don’t hate him. I don’t.. it will take either forever to hate him.. or a couple of months..
but.. you did leave me shattered.. to little uncertain pieces.. unconfident to wake up anymore..
but stronger and more hateful.. more dangerous to myself..
I hate you
I hate you so much right now mother fucken creep
what the fucken hell is going on in your stupid decayed dark mind?!
I wont even look at the damned screen. I will just keep on pouring these words of hate to screw you up more
to screw myself more
I hate everything around me
I hate how I jinx everything
how I jinx myself
why do I keep doing this to myself
oh fucken god why
maybe I should stop asking you
and start leaning on Satan’s shoulders
he will let me cry and make me high
I want to cry now
but I am keeping it all bottled up inside to change it into hatred
hatred
what an underestimated emotion
it speaks of many, many stories of darkness and stormy mountains
raping rain
evil wind
I want it to god damn rain tonight
I want it to start raining from now till I feel its enough
I want to see the sky black
dark
and evil
scary
and mighty
I want it to thunder endlessly
and light the hell out of this so called heaven
I hate earth
I hate the sky
I hate the days
I want night to come at last
I want to get so fucken high
and just to rage
and cry
and scream
and hurt everything
everyone around me
fucken assholes of humans
you don’t deserve to breath the air I am taking in
you don’t deserve to sleep at night
you don’t deserve to smile
I want to scar and rape your smiles
and make your filthy blood pour down like a river
red dark river
I want you to drown there
and breath in the blood of yours
and get sick
diseased
dis-eased
rot
in the most precious arms of your desire
“a little shy? and sad of eye?”
fucken ass fucker
you deserve to be tied up mercilessly in chains
in heavy rotten chains
and gagged with the dirtiest blood stained shit
left in a dark cold to death dungeon
so you can only hear the squeaks of rats just like you
and wonder where the fuck are these creatures
are they small
or big
are they near
or far
are they hungry
are they in love with human flesh
I want to scare the hell out of you
and make you cry
and beg
and gasp for sunshine
gasp for breath
clean satisfying air
I want you to fell the way I am feeling now
I want you to be in that fucken chair
and put yourself in my place
you fucken
fucken
fucken bastard
selfish
sad excuse of a man
I want to keep writing and writing and writing and writing and writing and writing no one stop me
don’t dare and stop me I want to keep telling myself what myself feels
is it nice
is it what you like
cause it seems that you, whore, like it here very much
u keep ending up here
in this damned chair
begging for mercy
begging for love
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
fuck love
fuck men
fuck women
fuck god
fuck heaven
fuck hell
Satan are you there
fuck you come over here
let me see the evil shining in your eye
assure me
of what I feel
is this the end?
it will always circle in this god damned circle
till the end
end
end
end
end
fuck you
fuck me
