Mon amie,
i just wanted to tell you that someone is listening and reading and understanding at least some of what you write and say, I have listened to your two latest audio recording s in full, they were so difficult to listen to at times , because of all you’ve had to suffer and go through, because I kept wishing I could be with you, that you did not have to be or feel quite so alone.
You are so wonderful Laila and there are people “out there” in the world who appreciate you and long to be with you, I know that for sure. And i know that I long to be with you.. And I don’t mean in an erotic sense (sorry about that faux pas, back in 2014, I was very confused and unhappy at that time as you no doubt realised later, I could not be or do better… I am so sorry for all the suffering I caused you and as for the disappointments and false steps, they are just part of real life, I guess… I often wished I were attracted to women, but I am not alas, not physically attracted, but then again I am not at all atracted to most men, either, there are less than ten men in total that I could imagine going to bed with and only three that I was drawn to, one of them in the very far past), which is important, but is not everything,
To me, friendship is even more important than love, in many ways better because there can be more freedom and fairness in it. My friends and even Dag as my best male friend have saved my life many times…I There are no power games in friednship, there is no judgment and no rejection, not in a proper friendship .It is less intense, sometimes perhaps frustratingly casual, sometimes unsatisfactory because friendhsip too can suffer from a lack of balance.But overall friendship gives so much and takes nothing from us, on the contrary it often restores us…
I understand that our lives, our perspectives, our goals are very different in some respects. But in other ways we are very similar too, I get your frustration at the speed of boys’ and in general of other people’s understanding, for example, I wrrote a story about that as a school composition and published it in the school paper-actually a friend of mine, another very smart cookie, found it and translated it into Romanian and got it published…. I love your music and that of Vivaldi, I admire your commitment to studying things scientifically, to understanding yourself and others, your striving to always be kind even if people are not and have sometimes been so horrible to you, I am inspired by your creativity, beauty and resilience.
And I long to talk to you, my dear friend. I know this is a very difficult time for you but it will be at least slightly less difficult for both of us if we talk more often, if you let me hear your beautiful voice and if we can have proper conversations. I am convinced that regular conversations would do us good.
There is a lot happening in my life right now as well but I don’t want to write here about it because this is your blog with your riddles and puzzles and some very difficult situations, the adventures of your life and also because I really long to hear your voice again.
I am going to try calling you again today and I hope you will answer this time and we can continue our friendship and our willd talks. You mean the world to me, Laila and you always will. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me feel differently about you. You have given me so much, changed me so much and I would like to be able to give you something back at least. Please remember I am always here, waiting for you to call or write to me. No one and nothing is more precious than you nor ever could be.
I llove you very much.
f
Mon amie,
i just wanted to tell you that someone is listening and reading and understanding at least some of what you write and say, I have listened to your two latest audio recording s in full, they were so difficult to listen to at times , because of all you’ve had to suffer and go through, because I kept wishing I could be with you, that you did not have to be or feel quite so alone.
You are so wonderful Laila and there are people “out there” in the world who appreciate you and long to be with you, I know that for sure. And i know that I long to be with you.. And I don’t mean in an erotic sense (sorry about that faux pas, back in 2014, I was very confused and unhappy at that time as you no doubt realised later, I could not be or do better… I am so sorry for all the suffering I caused you and as for the disappointments and false steps, they are just part of real life, I guess… I often wished I were attracted to women, but I am not alas, not physically attracted, but then again I am not at all atracted to most men, either, there are less than ten men in total that I could imagine going to bed with and only three that I was drawn to, one of them in the very far past), which is important, but is not everything,
To me, friendship is even more important than love, in many ways better because there can be more freedom and fairness in it. My friends and even Dag as my best male friend have saved my life many times…I There are no power games in friednship, there is no judgment and no rejection, not in a proper friendship .It is less intense, sometimes perhaps frustratingly casual, sometimes unsatisfactory because friendhsip too can suffer from a lack of balance.But overall friendship gives so much and takes nothing from us, on the contrary it often restores us…
I understand that our lives, our perspectives, our goals are very different in some respects. But in other ways we are very similar too, I get your frustration at the speed of boys’ and in general of other people’s understanding, for example, I wrrote a story about that as a school composition and published it in the school paper-actually a friend of mine, another very smart cookie, found it and translated it into Romanian and got it published…. I love your music and that of Vivaldi, I admire your commitment to studying things scientifically, to understanding yourself and others, your striving to always be kind even if people are not and have sometimes been so horrible to you, I am inspired by your creativity, beauty and resilience.
And I long to talk to you, my dear friend. I know this is a very difficult time for you but it will be at least slightly less difficult for both of us if we talk more often, if you let me hear your beautiful voice and if we can have proper conversations. I am convinced that regular conversations would do us good.
There is a lot happening in my life right now as well but I don’t want to write here about it because this is your blog with your riddles and puzzles and some very difficult situations, the adventures of your life and also because I really long to hear your voice again.
I am going to try calling you again today and I hope you will answer this time and we can continue our friendship and our willd talks. You mean the world to me, Laila and you always will. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me feel differently about you. You have given me so much, changed me so much and I would like to be able to give you something back at least. Please remember I am always here, waiting for you to call or write to me. No one and nothing is more precious than you nor ever could be.
I llove you very much.
f