Log: #Reality Shifting – #Presence

the last few months have been very strange.
the last few weeks even stranger.
i will not go into detail, but will say this. it really feels like my waking hours have been contaminated, for lack of better word, with the state of dreaming.
it is becoming stronger everyday. i have even been experimenting with this new “reality” that i am in. and it just keeps reminding me of the state i am at while dreaming. and signs, lots of signs for me to follow (in my researching).

for example, call me crazy, but it feels like i am in between dimension. my eyes are behaving strangely, seeing a clear veil intermingled with what we perceive as reality. it is there now all the time. the more i concentrate on not concentrating, the more i see. hard to say what it is that i see, but it was not there before. i don’t even have the will, drive or power to “snap out of it”. i’m too intrigued.

my story is very long. i don’t think this is the right place to share my experience.
but just one little thing, a couple nights ago, i was lying my bed looking out the window at the stars. i was lying very still, trying not to concentrate on seeing the stars, when the room, the window, the bars on the window disappeared. and i was looking at nothing but the night sky.

last night, i had the shutters down. i was lying in my bed staring at the ceiling, and i saw stars.
taken out of context, one may reply i am hallucinating, or psychotic. but as i said, this is out of context, and it feels like a change, not me being insane.

i spend my whole time researching our origins and history. so much time spent on google sky, moon, mars, sky-map.
this change which began last year, has literally disconnected me from reality, from planet earth. and all i want to do is go home. out there.
i don’t recognise myself in the mirror. the reflection is changing daily, becoming younger looking, prettier, and i feel like we have nothing in common anymore.
all this aside, i feel more alone than ever, as the me i know has left. and i find myself feeling a presence around me, which was there 10 years ago, and now it is back. and i am trying all the time to make the presence more real. at least to feel safe.