#Awakening II: Part II
Souls and Insanity.
I think insane and psychotic people have both opposites; halves of the soul equal. That is when one sees “imaginary” things…
#Flashback: Awakening I (2003):
I remember sitting on the institutions corridor benches, a woman in front of me, on the right, with a trolley with all her stuff in, or maybe that didn’t happen. She was talking to herself. Very convincingly. When I asked the nurse sitting on my right what’s the matter with the woman, she told me she’s psychotic. She sees things that are not there and she is more or less stuck in that world. For me the in between world. The golden middle. Closest to the truth. When the Real and the Reality collide in a waterfall. Blurring the edges. She saw us and the invisible. I remember thinking as I watched her with realising envy, that she must be happy. When you finally snap out of reality and you stop caring. Stop caring completely about the life that you knew. All the social fabrics invented by them. You stop being conscious, controlled by reality, and be totally free and awake. But your host is stuck in the physical reality while the soul is in ‘limbo’. This extreme of extremes makes all the belts snap. And everything expands and comes together. Your mind is so overwhelmed and I believe that one should be very happy. To be so completely alone with what’s actually there. The liquid in the middle. The Matrix outside the matrix.
I will go back to that golden lesson I learnt from our Adventure. Golden middle. Do what you actually want to do. There are no panics no. Ru is supporting me while I am by myself. I’ll take the signs seriously. Nothing happens for nothing. Follow the signs. Go with the flow. When ever something comes up, distracting me from what I am doing, don’t ignore and try instead to concentrate on what you’re doing, it won’t work. This nudging feeling will not go away, and you will probably miss out on something that should happen. Perhaps prolonging the effect, or entirely cutting its chance off.
Q: (But how does this explain or support the no Free Will after all, it’s all written and no matter what choice you choose, it is the path you would have gone through any way. No matter how convinced you are that this is your real own choice, you are fooled to believe that. It is already written. You just need to follow the journey. Go with the flow. Don’t fight anything. Be in the middle.)
For instance, yesterday my talk with Rolf was extremely significant. It was more or less a therapy session with myself. Sorting out the blocks. Putting them in place. Categorising. Explaining. Proving. By the end of the evening, and with the little talk with Ru this morning about our marriage and being my best friend, and the 4 towers of life.. I come to realise the ultimate. Everything happens for a reason. And my book is connected entirely, in one way or the other, with my own struggle. The book is Me. But I am a minor, insignificant character, only vital to play a role. Like a huge pyramid. And I am one of the selected numbers of others who are going through what I am going through, the conscious of the bigger truth, the seekers and believers to believe. And under us are the masses upon masses of billions who are still insects and parasites. The ignorant ones, the hopeless cases. The robots. The religious in wrong versions of truth. They should all, we should all be the solid foundation to the Pyramid. Otherwise it will not succeed. Liquid would not be realised. The other creators have other blocks of the before the top level of the pyramid. And they all should reach their final limit so the Liquid could be complete. What then? I don’t know.
Liquid:
I had this realisation this morning after the first J. I don’t remember clearly how I got to the answer, but I will begin from where I remember clearly. That water is the support of life. Man would die first from the absence of which of life’s essentials? Water. Man can live without food for weeks. The absence would kill slower. All man needs to survive is food, water and air. If one of those disappears, then death is imminent. I didn’t think about air though. This changes things. Another Cut!
Q: (The Divine do not need food, water or air to exist. Do they? I think not. What is the incomprehensible power that makes the Divine exist?
If it was to be removed completely, they would cease..?)
For instance Lucifer, I think I could find his Achille’s heel. Because he is the truest and most complete character. God’s plan was fulfilled through Lucifer. Not by making him the Lord, but as a side effect called: Eve.
Eve: sex. Why women have sex. Orgasm. My mission.
Watched NASA. Light carries the information from the source. It then travels to the other systems and so on. If the source changed, the information of this to the other systems will come later. Looking back from a system to where the light/information came from would be counting in light years. Although the time spent travelling is in real time.
Its like memories. De ja vous. Lags.
So God will not know what is going on in real time. He is the Past. He creates the Earth and Mankind. But it is happening almost Infinity time ago. And By the time Mankind is created, and the Divine Drama Starts, God/Source might have changed, dramatically, but ‘Earth’ doesn’t not knowing it yet. In the Quran, God says that human Time and God’s time is not the same. What for us might be a long time, thousands of years, for God it would be like days. This to a great degree connects NASA’s information to Religion, to What is God. He is not complete. He is not The Omniscient. He receives light/information from, what now I am calling Liquid, or used to call Supermassive Black Hole, AKA The Source.
But where does it begin? Is there a Beginning? Or is it a LOOP. Infinity. Just goes on and on, and on and on. Meaning that Life as we know it, has happened before, many, many, many, MANY times. And it will repeate again, and again. Infinity.
Is it a circle? Or is it the infinity symbol. Two circles.. 2 almost circles, pulled to eachother eternally by THE CUT.
After realizing this. I realize now that I have had this realization so many billions of times. How am I so disconnected from it. Inevitable. Boring. Pointless. Nothing will change the infinite tomorrows but a new, external power that will cause a chain reaction, infinitely. Ah but not. Then the story at least doubles in loop time. But it gets more interesting then!! This new power, where does it get its information? And you start thinking, and suddenly something even more Cosmic and Beautiful emmerges. Only the shades from what is in between black and blue, and white and light. If Our Loops are Red and Evil (maybe posing, like the souls!!!!) then this new infinity loop is like I saw it in a trip: blue, black, white and light. Cold. Cool. Silent. Frozen in time. But that means our NEW United Loop Infinity, is our Liquid? part, then Our Loop is the fire one. Hell.
That means it gets scary here, now. I see it black. Just black. Nothing. But I hear a constant, lowish whistle of the wind blowing. It’s cool. Cold. And you fly very quickly through Nothing, Forever! Is that Death? Black hole? This is the Supermassive blackhole.
Good. Because I wasn’t feeling very true and happy when I called it the first version SMBH. And It was like letting the Role down. This needed A Massive, grander part. Death. Nothing. Nothing can come from Nothing. Am I realizing I am an atheist? I am strangely and utterly Blocked. For this first time, my soul doesn’t want to explain this. Fear. Cold. Yet light!
I think of at least one thing to try and negate this. Well, if Nothing comes from Nothing, then how come I am here right now, doing this, and I know that I will do this Again. I suddenly see the Bigger picture, zoomed out to the max, I was planning to say, but I was thinking infinitely. So I am torn. Smoke a cigarette. This usually does Not happen to me. With every realization, I soar higher and reach “it”. But I feel like I am on the top (this is a side line, not planned to think)( oh predictability. Somehow always I know..
