#Lucid

  • Can’t throw myself out of the palace window.

    Unknown location, a huge palace like building. There are other characters there in the story, a man, a woman. I don’t remember anything.
    I am walking by myself. It feels like I am trying to get away from them. I walk into a huge empty room. The bright sunlight fills the room from the tall windows. I walk, intentionally, to the left side and stand by the last window. I look out and see green nature. A big garden, trees, a wall and a green field. “It feels tempting to jump” (sync. w/video:Beyond the Veil talkshow)
    I look down out of the window. It was a far way down, about 5 levels. Right underneath the two windows are two bouncy pillows. The one below me was huge, dark blue and brand new. It looked perfectly safe to land on if I jump.
    But I couldn’t throw myself. There was a sense of chill and fear of pain and getting hurt. My mind kept telling me it is a dream! It’s a dream! But I couldn’t but imagine bouncing off the bouncy in the wrong direction after landing on it. My mind tried assuring me of my ability to fly or change the matrix. But the fear won. And I backed away from the window, and went with the dream.

    Did I fail an exam?
    and what’s the message?…

  • #Dreams: Dinosaurs (old): Curiosity & Fear

    I have had a strong connection to dinosaurs and space every since i was little. And when I was 12, my dad took me to see my first movie in the cinema: Jurassic Park. When we went back home, I was living a trip in the kitchen, terrified that there are dinosaurs outside in the night and telling my parents about it.   For a few years since then, I have had impressibly vivid dreams about these creatures. I remember that I was always lucid, always in these particular dreams. I could simply remember that it is a dream. Moreover, I could metaphorically switch a button  and wakeup as soon as the terror trumped the fascination.   I was also very conscious of the fact that they will never hurt me, that the only problem in the matter is me fearing them.   Now, I am very conscious of my dreams, as I use the vividest ones to understand what it is that I am. So it was a strange moment, when a few days ago I remembered that I used to have intuitive capabilities in my old dinosaur dreams.   December 14, 2015

    …

  • #Reality within Reality

    setting: R.crystal office 8th circle.

    we haven’t talked for a couple of months,
    he says i ignored him, i say he ingored me
    we smoke, and something happens
    for the first time, what is around me morphs into a different setting
    just like a dream

    i am in my dad’s old office
    and i am abundantly aware this is happening.
    terrible and overwhelming power tampering with my consciousness
    reality and nonsense bombard me
    worries i do not believe in
    unnerving cells under my skin.

    internal thought process about
    how undifferent this is from dreams
    battle of consciousness i undergo in the state of dreaming
    is like battle of subconsciousness i’m experiencing now
    both cases i’m saying the same to myself,
    remember i am dreaming, right now

    lucid dream
    lucid reality
    it is possible to live my way
    wake up from the dream,
    live the way i want.

    …