#Presence: That Day

I dress up.. Really pretty, though I know we wont be going anywhere.. That we’ll stay in his flat..
I looked really good, I know that.. I was wearing my Stradivarius dress with black flip flops and let my hair hang wild, as it likes..
In the TV room, we sat in front of each other, he was rolling a J, and I was sitting there, just looking at him.. Studying his every move, every look.. We smoked.. He suddenly puts his hands on my face and says,
– 3ashanik kteer 7ilweh liom, lazem ana kman azabit 7ali o akhdik wen ma bidek.. 3ashan kul el 3alam yeshufuna..
I didn’t want to go anywhere.. I wanted to stay here with him. Without the complications of the world outside…
He goes in to dress up.. And I sitting, looking out of the window… The sun has set by then, but the sky was still alive with daylight.. It was my favorite time of the whole day.. After the sunset, when all is quite, all is so still..
Then to my joy and surprise, the church near by tolled it’s bells.. The beautiful serene sound of pure music.. For me, its the best of sounds there are…
I was thrilled and so happy.. Everything was happening according to my mood.. To what I want.. Those past two days…as if I am living in a movie.. And I remembered the one thing that I have learned from all my experiences.. “don’t expect, you wont get disappointed.. ” and I held that thought and tried to have a little control and stop this flow.. I shouldn’t go and go with the flow.. Its not right.. Though I never ever went with it before.. But because it was all new for me.. I was untrusting..

And then, he comes in to the room…
And it all changes again..
Quietly……
I don’t even notice myself surrendering to the flow.. To destiny… But I did…
He walks in..
This magnificently beautiful man.. In a formal gray-navy shirt.. Black pants and black shoes.. He tidied up his shoulder-length wavy black hair.. He looked like a sexy young beautiful bachelor walking his last miles..
The church bells were still ringing so loudly.. Though so far away…

And my Most Precious dream come true had it place…
He kneeled on one knee.. Only looking to my eyes.. With the most serious face I ever saw.. Most sincere eyes I ever felt..
Took the ring I was wearing on my left hand.. And placed it on my right one.. Never taking his eyes off of mine..
He didn’t even smile.. But I was smiling and felt tears in my eyes, I was expecting those tears.. Long time ago..
And the bells rang their last chimes.. Then vanished into thin air.. Silence.. Or maybe my senses just froze.. I do not know..
And in a serious and calm, yet sincere and very emotional voice he said two words..
– I do…
I couldn’t understand why this was happening.. It reached to the point when I thought I must have passed out long ago and I was just hallucinating.. Or having a dream…
Because it cant be that perfect..
Its just too good to be true… To fucken good to be true.. He is too damn good to be true..
I always used to take the pencil and write down scenes like that, imagining my dream lover and me…
But when what I think of.. What I write about.. Comes to life.. In front of me.. Imagine what it feels like.. Just imagine..

I said I do..
And he lift me up
And carried me to his bed
Very seriously,
Just like performing a ritual..
Religious..
Spiritual..
Mental..
The wedding.. The union of a soul once divided, and united for the first time.. Forever..
And everything after that was heaven on earth..

Do believe me.. You who is reading this.. Oh I have so many thing I want you to believe.. I don’t know from where to start..
I haven’t even started yet..
It felt like the most sacred thing I ever experienced.. It was exactly how I imagined it.. Exactly.. All of it.. The bells.. The joints.. The very very familiar man of my dream since I was a little girl… The mood.. The act.. The words.. It was so simple.. And so wonderfully unbelievable.. When every minute, you become aware, but surprised every single time, that your stupid little dreams that you had lived for days and nights, come true… Suddenly.. Unexpectedly… One after the other… All linked together.. And joined.. Like a puzzle.. And you see the clear picture in front of you.. The vague blurry dreams, become reality.. The mere thought of that.. And feeling that at the moment, makes me want to tell god, that I am more powerful than you will ever be..
Its exactly like painting a picture your whole life… Editing it.. Repainting and changing it for years and years.. Till you finally are completely satisfied .. And overwhelmed with joy.. Strength and brilliance … Then all of a sudden.. That perfect picture, turns alive.. Becomes reality.. Something that you can touch.. Feel.. Hear.. Talk to.. Hold.. Kiss and make love to…