MiddleEast WestCoast Cholera

Cholera sweeps over Lebanon, maybe the Jews too. We’ll hopefully, my father said.
He panicked like nothing I’ve seen. With his head hanging down, seated upside down, his legs up on the chair. He was asleep, in a corner. Sick, maybe dying.
And I like, like a mouse come, bewildered at this view. He panicked.. He panics 10 times. And I panic because of him. He’s crazy. Yelling and panicking.
He died? Oh no, did he?
Some prayers, about the will of God. But he panics. He panics 20 times. And sobs, he’s crazy.
What is he talking about? My little brother apparently. But why? Cholera. But it hasn’t come yet, has it?
Cholera, cholera, cholera.
What did they say it meant? Aggression, violent outbursts and utter disappointment.
Oh no. Why no? Not now! I want to go to Lebanon, where cholera is.

Little boys, babes in the woods
Chins and cheeks, soft and clean
Big boys now, big boys who can’t yet shave

I’ve never seen him like that. It broke my heart, to see a mountain shake and crumble.
I love him tremendously. I do, I do.

I fear, I’m scared. I hate myself too.
The one mute voice is a siren now
It scares me, and I try to hide it
beneath all the other voices
How many are there?
I don’t know
I can’t count
I hate particularities
Common sense too