King of the Universe

 

 

Why is it in dreams I would jump off the roof

because I can hear a voice screaming to be heard

“I will not die, that I can fly”.

even though my mind is hacking its message through

“How can you be sure this is a dream!”
My mind says no, and my soul says yes.

Soul is a romantic way of putting it.

The conscious mind terrified to break a rule,

conscious of the people in life and the roles therein.

My heart pumps hard, and my mind tries to beat into the environment;

asking itself to remember how environment of dreams feel.

..but it never gets easier.

I have no desire to jump and I’m scared to fly.
I want to be king of the universe but I want absolutely nothing.

Subconsciousness fears the rules in here.

When was the last time I felt a yearning to participate?
Dreaming, I have a desire to almost flawlessly belong to any story.
Here, I steer away bombarding events

constantly taking my want to do nothing.

I end up doing them and I fill the roles,

following rules and it feel a waste of my time.
Paranoia;

no Now, No desire to be.
Scattered body and mind with no muse in sight,

Can’t bring myself forth or back together again.

Fidgeting fingers clumsy as hell;

I put down every thought I need to save me.

I find myself in consecutive scenes,

One mind here or there,

and the other on the the other side.

Two lives survivable at once

and I’m neither here or there.

 

Plainly saying no to situations,

I’d come here where I am more than I can ever be there.

I come here where I can be more me than there

I write about the dissatisfaction of how there I’d be.

Frustration all life long,

Fighting it at every climax that builds up in me.

The next wave is as long if not much longer and endless,

and all I care for is the moment of the bright sunlight

so I can relish in the dissolvement of the spider webs of my mind.