Enchanted Boy (Life) & The Boat in the Flood (Death)

A boy my age with waves of dark hair covering his ears. Quiet, knows something, trustworthy; I want to serve him.
Dressed in long dark shirt, breezy dark pants, his style is attractive and for comfort. There’s an object in his hand. I’m not interested in it, He is consumed by it, like a rubik’s cube.

 

#Scene:

I enter the room after watching him for a while and I’m thinking. I decided to ignore everything, especially myself and break out of the dream-role I trap myself in (waiting for him to approach first).

I lay on my stomach on his bed. He is sitting up, crossed leg, his attention only with the cube. I lay with my hands supporting my chin and watch him through new eyes, a heartfelt smile and a light clear mind. My final thought before acting was that I want to fall in love with this man even if he won’t interact back. My objective was to fall in love for the sake of falling in love, and he was divine in my eyes. (#Jesus&MaryMagdeline)

Later,

I’m in love with my man. We are family. Life happens.

 

#Scene:
I’m in a big boat where I live with many people. The scene leads to speaking with my mother and my daughter in the cafe. Closer to the exit, The table is high, square and dark wood. The background is dark with green plants. My daughter looks like a wonderful young lady, older than her age. I leave after saying goodbye and climb the stairs up to the deck. The boat is docked, I step on to the land with my right foot and take the breeze and the scene in. The islands and sea are captivating. I turn my head to the left and I see a monstrosity of a tsunami in the distance. It looks like two enormous towers of water spouts. I know that I’m looking at a #recurrent theme dream. My mind nudged me to keep going because reality isn’t real; i.e, it doesn’t matter if anyone dies.

The situation isn’t stirring me (so, success). I’m on my way to meet someone somewhere off the boat. But suddenly I imagine how it would feel to cry because my daughter is about to die. Before I make a run to attempt a suicide mission to save her, a wall of water impacts the boat and fills it up. It capsizes and turns up emptying the waters within. I’m standing still, with one foot on the boat and the other on land. Reality isn’t affecting me physically, I’m merely watching the flood and experiencing the feelings of their deaths. I well up and burst into an amazing relief of wails and cries. I collapse on the stone floor of the peer, acting out anger with fists beating the gray tiles. In my mind I know none of it happened, but I’m caught in it. My mother appears, and the surroundings transforms to her kitchen at home. She’s upset and heartbroken and tells me to stop. I tell her that I don’t want to. I say: daughter, death, guilt..

 

Comment:
It felt somewhat #balancing. My mind knows the truth, but my soul, my humanity would rather feel this pain.