#Journal

Sometimes it feels like today is yesterday. It catches me off guard that I don’t remember if I had a morning or had the night before. It catches me off guard that time moves without any remembered events to prove it existed. I find myself driving or going somewhere or talking with someone and not remembering getting there.
Auto pilot mode. I’m asleep when I’m awake.
It gets me through doing things I don’t want and talking with others which I don’t want either. Makes the permanent state of anxiety pause, while some other layer of me takes over and deals with this world.
Autopilot is survival mechanism.