The Girl Who Made the World

It was blue.
Or was it black?
Were there stars?
Or were there cracks?

I see them white.
And blue, and sun..
With no frames,
With no grounds..
I feel the wind..
I hear the rings..
Of golden stars,
Beneath my wings..
Tickling voices..
And echo.. brief,
“Where does love live?
…Where is spring?”
Trees and green,
And blue and love..
Lilies and roses,
Grass and doves..
Rivers so blue,
And water so clean..
Let me fall down!..
Oh let me, please…
I shall walk!
And I shall run!
By the orchards,
Under the sun..
I shall fall,
In– so deep.
Through the oceans,
Dive in seas..

I shall smell,
The apple trees..
Till I muse,
“Birds and bees…”
And I shall ask,
For him to come..
Though we’ll be two,
We shall be one..
The golden sand,
The four crescents..
And two, so little
Between us blend
“I, love you..
You’re why I’m here..”
But I made you!
Steer now. Steer..
I miss the rings!
I miss the wind..
I long for blue!
For a different sting ..
Thought its so well,
And dear, and sweet..
But my wings only,
Can dry my tears…

Notes:

With each line the portrait takes its shape, at times a new dimension, and at others just another layer to enhance the whole experience. It begins with a statement, forcing the reader to imagine an endless space of white. The following interrogative phrases spread perplexity and indecision. However, an image of the sky overwhelms the mayhem.

I took a common concept and reversed it. Some people seek spirituality. They detach themselves from the physical world and heed their souls. But most of the time they yearn to that material world and go back to it eventually. They do not really know what they want. No one really does. We think we do. But because as soon as we lose something, we come later on, sometimes when it is too late, to appreciate it.

In this poem, a girl living in the spiritual sphere seeks a different theme for her life. A more physical and limiting world, where there is not so much freedom that she obviously does not appreciate. She wants to feel the restriction of the ground, the limitation of walls and boundaries.

A picture is painted. With the use of all the colors to create and beautify the solid world she is longing for. But this blending of colors creates a brown smudge, confusion and uncertainty, an unclear picture; rather than the simple color of white of the paranormal world, the world of complete freedom and simplicity. Soon, she misses her original venue, for she came to be grateful for what she had had
all along.

“Careful what you wish for”.

She regrets her wish. Once fallen into the inferior world, she realizes that even though it is all pleasant and charming, she does not belong here and cannot possibly go on. Nothing can make her better again but to return to her sky, home. She had always lived absolutely free of ‘responsibilities’ and she aches to go back to what is habitual and normal for her.

Another theme is cited: Sharing one’s personal dreams with others- changes the dream. She thought she believed and was definite of her dream, but once she shared it with a man; it created a child. Her vision was not about her anymore, and she could not understand why. She realized that she did not want what she thought she did, and that she did not plan for this consequence and outcome.

“ The golden sand, the four crescents, and two so little between us blend”. (This is the most creative and astounding metaphor I have ever created.) The four crescents mean four footsteps; hers and his. The two little ones shed light on the existence of a child, walking in a baby manner, insecurely and unsteadily, making its footprints blend, interfere and disturb the parents’, and more significantly her new pattern of life. Although it is a beautiful image, but for her it means failure and disorder.

At the end, she realizes what she hungers for is white. The simplest and original color of all, the first idea. With no barricades of the brown mixture of the material world, where everything connects with each other creating an endless confusion linked all together, unlike her original simple space.

“ In space the stars are no nearer
They just glitter like a morgue
And I dreamed I was a spaceman
Burned like a moth in a flame
And our world was so gone
But I’m not attached to your world
Nothing heals and nothing grows
Because it’s a great big white world
And we disturb all the colors”
-Marilyn Manson