The Sinless Suicide
“Scavenger!
Your scandalous kisses
Your mind…a complete vortex
Raping a virgin’s religion
Your soul lives in a shielded fortress
You lie to the Goddess
Direct and honest
Treat the divine
Wickedly with innocence
Suicidal promises
Suicidal caresses
Crucify me
Crownless
Faceless
Lifeless
Save my dying breath…till after the light
…But your sun will always be rayless
Solitary, I walk through my nights
Seducing the sinful stars
Slowly…centering my sacred soul
And select a sin every sunrise…
Silence steals the center of the universe
Collecting ashes between the dust
Answer my own disbelieves
In self-denying”
…she sits in solitary
Her cries create silence
One..Last..smoke..
Sacrificing her last wishful breath.”
But wet matches killed her last hope…….
Notes:
I tremendously enjoyed writing this poem. Successfully I accomplished to let
my feelings out and actually felt better.
The speaker is deprecating and scolding the man who betrayed her love. She
refers herself as a goddess and divine to elucidate she never wronged him but
gave him the best treatment she could afford. However, he used and abused her trust and wounded her with his scandalous lies and obscene actions.
She cries out that it is not fair. She does not have a reason to live for any
longer. Therefore, she decides to end her life by committing suicide. It is not clear if he did abuse her. There is the possibility of her victimizing herself, since it is obvious that her character is romantic and very passionate. She lives in a fantasy world of her own creation.
The mentioning of smoke implies that she is a deep thinker. Even though she
is about to end her life, she still wants to smoke one last cigarette and think about him and what he had done to her. However, “wet matches killed her last hope.” Here it is evident that she is pathetically in despair. Her designed approach to death with a little hope is prevented. Now she has to live until the matches dry up. She lives in denial because she pines for him.
The entire poem is spoken in her voice; apart from the last stanza, which is a
narration. I believe what makes this poem more effective and applying to the
readers is the use of alliteration; which provokes a sense of sexuality. It portrays a wider image and possibilities to analyze the poem in more than a way.
