enough intention!

how can I not have enough intention!?
I was foolishly myself, blaming the hack,
lazy
tired
no energy,
need a flare of any kind!

I have not enough of intention believe it because my parts are not feeling – it – together.

now I am bouncing things around back to the other side. I came to this conclusion now as I was orgasming, tier II, mediating time into focused intention to communicate with soul-mate. The level of manifesting his presence to feel my body fuckloved began.. I couldn’t bother to bother. always with this feeling: eh.. tomorrow. so far so good at least and enough I can’t pretend any longer, I am tired. I am lacklustred, my energy is gone. OK.
so here we have a drain.
and here is when I thought: that’s why DMT.
a flare.

bah, again.

how can I take it seriously without – external intervention.

first come waves of panic as the ambience vibrates suddenly. Time visibly fucking up her head with responsibility (JRT in Falun, drive. Outside world of reality.)
I cannot because I do not trust myself, or my judgement, or my decisions, or the cosmic wheel of fortune.

so what now.
divide and conquer? isn’t that what we’ve been doing as a precaution? it doesn’t work.

take a breath, have a kitkat.