the Now

First of all, it is a memory i’m visiting. Second of all, it is a future I designed. Maybe the other way around. I know where it hides, bits of information in a storage device. Programmable. Ancient and far in a future. In a subtle conscious place, it exists now. Now means nothing. I resist it with strange persistence but fight to connect with it, miserably. I only want to know. I truly long to believe it. I play my role and it feels just right. What is truly mine is inside my mind. The only joy I manage to extract from now is writing every stray thought down.

sigh.

“The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens into that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was a conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach.”

— Carl Jung, The Meaning of Psychology for Modern Man, 1934