Enki’s Stone

I have entered a place i have never seen. I am standing in front of a magnificent entrance of an ancient underground city. (scarecrow-wizard of oz). It was the front line city leading to other places and eventually ‘home’.
I stood there, and started to think- it was so very strangely effortless.I realise i am in a dream, that i am aware of what’s happening. So i felt like praying. It was super short. The whole time  i stand still, but inside so many major psychological processes are in action. So effortlessly.

So my prayer was: not to forget that i am in control- not for a second.I might have being asking for a deal (which could be understood from between the lines of the prayer: meditation“laila please please don’t forget, intention, intention..”I was giving myself the support to go on by encouraging myself to just go in.

When i flew out of my trippy bubble, i landed gently on white, yellowish shallow sand. I look right ahead, excited and i was thinking: what should i do next?I looked at everything around me i was standing, in a prounce (alert, standby position) feeling very Naughty And happy. There was a sky above, but i knew it was holographic. Pale golden brown color, and it was midday. There was no sun, but i felt it directly above me; nice and warm.It was shadowy ahead. A long and very wide, abandoned corridor entrance of white marble. It might have had an arch, and a huge, white, diamond-shaped steeple. On either side ahead were tall, wide and flat columns holding the sky not far above. I shifted my gaze and focused on the right side of the pantheon like tunnel.A meter ahead of me the first column stood. And by every column intentionally designed were shallow, sink-like holes. I saw a stone in the first basin to my right, and didn’t even care to have another sweep to see if the other 9 basins contained anything. I assumed they did. i also could see in my mind that i lose knowledge which the possibility ahead, because i could see (in my mind) that i don’t have the energy for seeing more than a 3 or 4 basins which lie ahead of the one i chose, and, i am also not even sure of my vision.

This shape now i recognize in other dreams where i had been in a situation just like this, my mind doing the same calculation to guess how many lives i could lose if i want to get to the other side  doing the same thing, but in an extremely different place.I’ll write about this later. Running simulations.

As i am diving to grab the stone i see, i decide to not care, and take this one before someone changes their mind. Here it felt like i was being watched, hence i suddenly know i am not alone. That i am expected.
When my face was near the stone, i realised it was a part of a mechanism. I took the stone slowly and laid it gently on my right palm. It felt cool and good. It was more oval in shape than round. Very smooth, white and grey, and gently eroded somehow. I slowly flipped the stone and looked at the other side. But i already knew what i would see, and when i saw the face i smiled. It was a mixed feeling of “at last, i have succeeded in finding you,” and a sense of humble sadness complete with adoration. I set stone face side up on the mechanism, i remember it flipped a few times, around it self before it finally set down on the basin, pushing it in to activate. It was a confusing (or many times) then placed it down again with the other side facing up. the stone had a symbol on it, the head of a falcon with human shoulders. I knew it was the way to meet enki, so that is what i intended, to meet him. 

My intention was very clear, and i was sure that it will happen.When i placed the stone back to the holder, it started to turn, and i knew it had to do that a specific number of times before he appeared, or i was taken to see him.however, when there was one turn left, i pulled it out, and decided to ask the dwellers of this place if it was a good idea to do this.I start walking, (maybe i place the stone back) and was planning to go back to it, to let it finish the one last turning round,and as i was walking, i decided i have time to try anything else. I wasn’t sure meeting enki would be a good idea, obviously, and decided to take the dream any other place, but it didn’t happen. Tried a few times..and i was very surprised that nothing happened, and couldn’t understand why.

As i walked forward, i began to see small market places inside the ancient looking stone village,on the left i found a beautiful blond girl, who was selling cloth. She looked like she was from the future, in contrast with the surroundings she dwelt and worked within. When i asked her, if it is ok for me to do such a thing, to touch the stone and call to see enki, she changed her whole friendly and happy demeanour. She became worried and restless and said, oh… you must follow me.it felt to me, and it was clear that she has been “expecting” me, that she was warned not to answer and take me somewhere else.I followed her with these thoughts in my mind, and she led me to the “shop owner” another woman with the same characteristics the other woman said to me, that i cannot do that.Or should not attempt to do that,and instead i could try anything else, anything at all.i felt insulted, and replied saying this is a dream, my dream, and that it is also a great great circumstance as well, as i am aware that this is not really real, and i want to do what i want. She says, do anything, but not that.Then suggests to me that to wish to have a romantic/sexual experience with the greatest looker in the world.She then makes an x of mine appear, walking in a great way towards me, smiling. He did look much better than he does in reality, but i got angry, and cried out, not him, he repulses me and no matter how hot he can look i do not care.. and so the x just kept walking.I notice then that she is gone,and caught in the sexual moment, i decide to summon the presence, but i stopped for i was not sure if he could turn me on,i tried to summon someone else, but then i realized that nothing is happening, and instead of deciding what i want to do, i had to test what could i do, and that was nothing.

I really felt that this is a huge chance for me to do and be whatever i wanted.But then when i decide to do anything, it does not happen.I try summoning people, and it doesn’t happen,i try aparating somewhere else, and nothing happens.And i didn’t get why this is happening. I felt i was being denied everything.
It’s then when i decide to go back to the stone opening, and just do itbut the dream took me in the other direction and made me forget what i was aware of.

Analysis:

After reading i_am_human’s reply above, i’ve understood why i was doing things wrong. The word “intention” struck me deep inside like a chord; and ever since, i have been consciously preparing myself to finally see the dream i knew was coming.
For further details, which will make the bellow dream clearer, please follow this link. *******
Story:my dreams were abundant, and they defined me. My dreams were the only treasure i had.
In may 2012, they decreased extraordinarily in quantity. For half a year now, i have been having a dream per month or so. however, most of these dreams were reality changing ‘moments’.

In the beginning of this cycle, there were many intense dreams that seriously felt that they were not mine.I don’t have anything more to say about this. When i awake in the morning, i would remember every tiny detail, like a film i am still watching. But moments after, the vision and the memories terminate, and i would be sitting on the edge of my bed, asking who or what is doing this to me.and after that month, things went silent. It distressed me for days, all day long. Then at night before falling asleep, i would wish that tonight i would have a dream; any dream. Even if it was not mine.I was mentally panicking, trying to figure out why it felt like something is interrupting my dreams, in such a physical way.then suddenly things got better. Absolutely, and without any conclusions to my predicament,  i suddenly have a kick-ass dream.

The reason why my dreams are like a part of me is that i sometimes experienced  the most cherished dream i am the person that i want to be, the person i always wish to be in real life. So in the realm of dreams, i can do so much more, and i could live happier, just because i can change the dream to what i want it to be. and so, i am very happily in love with myself.Every time a situation felt wrong, i could simply fly away and my body turns into a a sort of a higher dimensional being.I could evoke any lover i wish to see,or make anything ugly beautiful.My arm, hand and fingers would move like a wand to control space and time.I would prefer to levitate than walk on my bare feet,i could go on with the description but i’ll leave it at that.. ;)

So now, if you take all of the above into consideration, this is what actually happened to me tonight.Tonight was the night when i for the first time in many, many years become aware that i am inside a dream, and that i can actually make anything happen. I more or less was standing in the beginning of the dream, remembering i_am_human’s advice and knowing that this is part of my reality. I felt amused and clever..i was actually also feeling the energy i was creating, praying “intention” when my voice sang the word out loud.  I even smirked at myself.
However, because of my realisation that i can control and i am so much better at this after all these years, wiser,access was denied.