Zephyr – Letter from A.A & Response

He wrote:

Its been really sometime since I last wrote u anything,
I don’t know why,
I don’t know what is wrong with me,
even though my love grow bigger and bigger everyday,
but showing them to you is hiding,
im afraid I will lose u like that,
that u will think I will stop loving u,
or I will leave u,

but no,
im here to stay,
I said it before,
and im saying it now,
I need u to comfort me,
to ease my pain,
and im in a lot now,
just like u,
I breath and talk,
I breath and walk,
just like u,
and im in pain,
and I want u to ease my pain,
to be there for me,
because I love u,
and I want to stay like this forever,
in love with u,
in love with Leila….

 

A.
Love you..
Forever

I replied:

I read your email now again
and i’m confused
of what you say
and what you actually do
im listening to the radio in my mobile
it’s the Zephyr song
our song
but we aren’t together anymore
spiritually we are
we will always be
but right now I don’t feel anything at all
I feel like there’s a big gap
and I don’t understand anything that is happening
it doesn’t make any sense to me
I miss you so much
my A. who loves me
no matter what
and who takes care of me
and lets me love him
I haven’t been with him for a long time now
im actually forgetting what it was like..
problems
lots of them
but they all come from one big problem

and honestly I don’t see that you want to solve them
I feel that you don’t care anymore
you have headaches and you want everything to stop
how can the problems stop
if you don’t let us talk
and analyze things
communication is the most important thing
we should learn how to do that
so we can start
just start and solve the problems
till we reach the time when and where
there isn’t problems anymore
and we are back together
in spirit, mind and body
feelings and actions
one life
cuz we have a one soul
one soul
which is right now
drawn apart
into 2 half souls
you and me in pain
in confusion
in hurt
and in everything..

you don’t listen to me
when I tell you things
you always take the wrong side
that I don’t mean..
I tried to tell you
to make you see
that you made me get over everything horrible and ugly in my life
that I have a new life
and its all because of you
and my life now only has to do with you
I have goals and things I want to have and do
but this time
for the first time in my life
I want to share them all with someone
with only you..
you are the cause
of why I study now
I want to finish school
and get great marks
for you
to make you happy and proud of me
so then when we both finish
we can continue having same goals in life
to plan our life in a way to include each other
together forever
study together
work together
live together
be together
eat and sleep together
work on 2 separate lives
to make them one life
ours

everything is one
it should be one
it will take so much time
but we have all the time
step by step
and we’ll find each other
after many, many years
having a real vacation
on a beautiful beach
drinking wine
and watching the sun and the blue sea
talking about all the years that went by
remembering that everyday till that day
we were together
working together
and for each other
to please each other
and help each other
cuz its meant to be
cuz I see it in your eyes
in your smile
when we make love…
when we make love
I see in your eyes
a future
a beautiful future
I seein your eyes
that I will never ever see any other eyes
but yours…
I swear to you
by my love and our love and your name
that I see our children in your eyes
when you make love to me
that’s what makes me go on
and bare all the pain
and the sadness
cuz I know it will happen
we will be Adam and Eve
for each other
no other man
no other woman
but later on.. we’ll have to share our love
with our children..
the most precious blessing and gift
that we will share
that makes us even more and more ONE..
do you know why I talk to you this way?
and let you know my dreams and fantasies
and what I what?
cuz I know its what you also want
cuz I know you love me
I am not embarrassed to say things
cuz I know it will happen
and I know u share it with me
but deep, deep inside of you
somewhere lost, in your soul
in your mind
you want the same
but you cant tell them to me

cuz you are scared
that it wont happen
that I don’t love you
that I lie
that I will leave you anyway
that I am having fun..
I know you feel that way
its not fair to me
but in general it is fair
and I cant help you to get over you fears
and confusion
I tried so much
but I realized that I cant
that I will have to bare it
that I will have to wait
for the day when you will see that you were wrong
that I am here to stay
that you are the love of my life
that I will fight for till the end
I will not lose you
I will not lose you
because of your fears
I will stay and wait
and try to make it easier
but time will save me
and you
and us
and everything will be perfect
cuz we are perfect..
the only perfect thing that god created
and that is true love..
its what’s life and living is all about..

Love you..
Forever
Carameltak Meaw..