Lilith/Eve Split: The Garden of Eden

“It is either I do this because I want this, or I don’t because I do not!”

She heard him whisper in her mind.

He’s wrong. He’s saying that there are no other chances. But for this to work I need to find other choices! He is not completely right.. But he’s confirming that time then is cyclical. ..I am aware of this completely now.. Nothing is complete.

And only then, did the voice inside her head pulled the strings of attention to the next in the unfolding plan. The voice will make her do what its will. She knew that. He knew that she will need to interject the host she’s confined in, and precisely instruct her to take action. The voice of Lilith was a siren, calling for this challenge. Lilith would prove to the rest that she hasn’t been wrong, all along. Her unnecessary punishment by those she had obeyed into disobeying is hindering her quest for the truth. And now she has accepted Lucifer’s harsh revelation, in a heartbeat, as a sacrifice offering to the universe. She is set out to find the resolution to the situation, all of theirs’; immediately. She prays; and asks her resolve to evolve her host. Lilith’s consciousness overwhelmed her host’s who failed to notice it. She did not notice the sudden silence. The absence. Because she wasn’t expecting to lose the communication link between them. And this was the moment her soul spilt from it’s twin’s.
The terrible moment when the whole plan backfired. And feminism was born.
The terrible event that divided her self into two. One half eventually became the lacuna of an unknown-familiar longing of foreign origin, and Lilith’s soul gained another wing for creative innovation in battle.

The host fills up with a foreign faith, and her slender arms, wide open, expectantly, looking at his beautiful being, says after a moment, swears an oath,

“I will try my hardest to understand— my self.
I am sorry, but I will learn that which cannot be taught. Because— I want to.
I want to do love too.”

The promise was supposed to be a deal sealer. But now I know that I’ve made a mistake. Godly damned heartbreak.
This is a deal breaker.

And so the curtains fall on the stage. And she hasn’t spoken to her master, ever since. As for him, his brokenheart never forgot the last words that Eve ever spoke.

from: the Narrator’s journal:

From the perspective of the bigger picture, it feels like I’m the only thing moving.
But in the smaller picture, in this reality, I feel the complete opposite.
Everything, from here, seems to move; like a wind. And I am constant focus. I am the permanent perspective, spectator and creator.

When I was young, there were rare incidents or situations, when suddenly, my surroundings start fast-forwarding and spinning around me. And I am the eye of the twister, terrified. Horrified by my presence, that is showing itself for me to be aware of. The other, the invisible other.
Is this how ‘God” felt when he unintentionally created, duality?
How did he feel that moment when he saw his own reflection?
What was it like to meet someone other than himself.
What was it like to meet himself as another being?
It felt like a point of focus that is outside of me. A confirmation that someone else is separate from me, I don’t recognize as part of our reality, and . and it is sucking my attentions and awareness like a strong vacuum. It feels similar to dream paralysis, but the focus is is not on being unwillingly, contained inside my body, terrified; the focus is abstract containment, of my consciousness. Like a Dementer, sucking the happiness out of Harry Potter’s memories. It is terror. Contained in a box. Pandora’s box.
But as I grew, and wasn’t a child anymore, this ‘meeting’ changed, to something deep, a love affair. I fell in love with the unknown & I’m intrigued and longing to be with this presence. An insecure obsession of pure love.
The prominent theme the feeling of being unemotionally detached, and almost constantly anxious. Like a second nature.

It is when I look at the stars in the night sky, I focus. I see the star in the sky because everything else seems irrelevant. It is just me- and her.
I see a sun with planets in her. A galaxy, bigger than mine and mind-bogglingly distant, exciting in a completely different timeline. They say that the further the star is, the more lightyears separate our distance and time. They say you can see things in the night sky that are in reality not even there, anymore. For a long long time.

What in the whole world is more fascinating than a star in the night? The quest to there, I bet.

When I look at the stars in a black dark sky, I say, “Wow…. Nothing matters because nothing is really real.”